First Christmas Married: 12 Traditions to Start as Newlyweds
The best traditions for your first Christmas married are small enough to repeat every year: buy a dated first ornament together, send your first card as a couple, plan the holiday split with both families early, blend one tradition from each side and write each other a letter to open on a future Christmas. Add a surprise love video from your wedding guests, and the season that used to belong to your parents starts to feel like yours.
A note before the list: we make Tribute, the group video maker, and it's one of the 12 ideas.
| Tradition | Best for | Time needed | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Your first ornament | Every couple | An afternoon | $10 to $40 |
| Your first card as a couple | Couples with a big guest list | A weekend | Cards and stamps |
| A love video from your wedding guests | Surprising your spouse | 20 minutes to set up | From $35 |
| Choosing the tree together | Couples in their first home | A morning | The tree |
| The holiday split plan | Two families who both want you | One honest talk | Nothing |
| One tradition from each side | Couples from different backgrounds | Ongoing | Nothing |
| Your first Christmas dinner | Couples who like to cook | A day | Groceries |
| The saved wedding gift | Couples with a pile of unopened boxes | 10 minutes | Nothing |
| Wedding video night | Christmas Eve at home | An evening | Nothing |
| Letters to a future Christmas | Sentimental couples | An hour | Paper, an envelope |
| The Christmas Eve box | Couples who love a ritual | 30 minutes | $20 to $50 |
| Your first holiday photo | Every couple | 15 minutes | Nothing |
What are the best traditions for your first Christmas married?
You're not starting from zero. The CDC counted 2,041,926 marriages in the U.S. in 2023, and most of those couples bring two full sets of family habits into the same December. The trick is to pick a few new traditions that belong to the two of you, then keep doing them.
Start with the first four. They take little planning and they give your first year a clear shape.
1. Buy your first ornament together
Go to a holiday market or a local shop and choose one ornament together, then have it dated or engraved with your names. Each year, add one more that sums up the year: a tiny house for the first apartment, a dog bone for the puppy. In twenty years the tree tells your story.
- Time needed: An afternoon
- Cost: $10 to $40
Best for: Every couple, in any size of home.
Why it works: Compared to a box of store-bought baubles, each ornament has a memory attached.
2. Send your first Christmas card as a couple
Pick a photo from the wedding or the honeymoon and send a card to everyone who came. Line ideas: "Our first Christmas as Mr and Mrs," "Merry Christmas from the newlyweds," or "Same people, new last name." Mr. and Mr. or Mrs. and Mrs. work just as well. Add a line of thanks for being there on the day; many wedding guests never hear back after the thank-you note.
- Time needed: A weekend for photos, addresses and stamps
- Cost: Cards and postage
Best for: Couples with a big guest list.
Why it works: It's a reason to reconnect with everyone who traveled for you.
3. A love video from your wedding guests (a Tribute group video)
Here's a surprise for your spouse: a few weeks before Christmas, start a Tribute and send the link to your wedding party, both families and the friends who danced until the end. Tribute is a group video maker that turns messages from friends and family into one surprise video. It works by inviting everyone to record a short clip from their phone; Tribute compiles the clips, music and photos into a finished video you share or play together.
Ask each person one question: "What's your favorite memory of the two of us?" or "What advice do you have for our first year?" Then play it on Christmas morning. Picture your husband watching his college roommate, his grandmother and the flower girl show up one after another, each with a story he'd forgotten. Over 8 million videos have been sent on Tribute, and it holds 4.9 stars from 7,000+ reviews.
- Time needed: 20 minutes to set up; open it two to three weeks before Christmas and set the deadline a few days before so people have time to record
- Cost: Free to start a draft; you pay from $35 when you publish and start collecting videos, or $149 for Concierge editing plus a 7-inch Video Book that plays the video when opened
Best for: Surprising your spouse, or bringing back the wedding crowd for one more round.
Why it works: Unlike the wedding video, it's made for this Christmas, and it's full of people talking to the two of you.
4. Choose your tree together
Go to a tree farm and argue about height, or drag the artificial one out of the closet and fight over the lights. Most households do some version of this: in a 2013 Pew Research survey, 79% of Americans said they planned to put up a Christmas tree, and 65% said they planned to send Christmas or holiday cards. Make the first one yours, down to who gets to place the star.
- Time needed: A morning
- Cost: The tree, plus hot chocolate on the way home
Best for: Couples in their first shared home.
Why it works: It's the first decision of the season you make as a household.
How do newlyweds handle the holiday split with in-laws?
This is the one conversation every couple has the first year. Both families want you, both have always done it their way, and someone's mom is going to be disappointed. Settle it early, together, before either set of parents asks.
5. Make a holiday split plan
Talk through the options before Thanksgiving: alternate years, Christmas Eve with one family and Christmas Day with the other, or host both families at your place. Write it down and tell both sides at the same time, as a team. Whatever you choose, plan a few hours that are only yours, even if it's breakfast in pajamas before the first drive.
- Time needed: One honest talk, plus two phone calls
- Cost: Nothing, or gas money
Best for: Couples whose families live within driving distance of each other.
Why it works: A plan you share as a couple is harder to argue with than one spouse's guess.
6. Keep one tradition from each side
Make a list of what each of you grew up with: tamales on Christmas Eve, a new pair of pajamas, church at midnight, the Yankee swap. Pick one from each family to keep in your home and let the rest stay with your parents. Ten years from now, your kids will think the mix was always there.
- Time needed: A conversation over dinner
- Cost: Nothing
Best for: Couples from different cultures, faiths or family styles.
Why it works: Neither family's way wins, and both feel honored when they visit.
What new traditions can you start at home this year?
The rest of the list is for the two of you. Your first Christmas as husband and wife (or wife and wife, or husband and husband) is the only one that gets to be first, so give it a few rituals you'll want to repeat.
7. Cook your first Christmas dinner together
Even if you're eating with family on the day, cook one holiday meal for two in your own kitchen. Pick one dish from each of your childhoods and something neither of you has made before. Write the menu on a card and keep it; next year, change one dish.
- Time needed: An afternoon and an evening
- Cost: Groceries for two
Best for: Couples who like to cook, or want to learn.
Why it works: The first holiday meal in your own home is a milestone nobody else will mark for you.
8. Open a saved wedding gift
Most couples have a few gifts still in the box. Save one, maybe the fancy one you were afraid to use, and open it on Christmas Eve. Use the good glasses that night.
- Time needed: 10 minutes
- Cost: Nothing
Best for: Couples with a closet of unopened boxes.
Why it works: It brings the wedding into the holidays and gives a forgotten gift its moment.
9. Watch your wedding video on Christmas Eve
Make cocoa, turn off your phones and watch the wedding video or flip through the album. Point out the guests you didn't get to talk to on the day. It's a quiet hour in a loud season.
- Time needed: An evening
- Cost: Nothing
Best for: Christmas Eve at home.
Why it works: The wedding went by in a blur, and this is your chance to see it at your own pace.
10. Write letters to a future Christmas
Each of you writes a letter about this year: where you live, what you're worried about, what you hope for. Seal them in one envelope marked "Open on our tenth Christmas." Tuck it in with the ornaments so you see it every December.
- Time needed: An hour
- Cost: Paper and an envelope
Best for: Sentimental couples.
Why it works: Future you will love reading how young and nervous present you sounded.
11. Start a Christmas Eve box
Fill a box with matching pajamas, a movie, popcorn and something sweet, and open it together on Christmas Eve. Take turns choosing what goes in each year. When kids come along, the box grows with them.
- Time needed: 30 minutes to put together
- Cost: $20 to $50
Best for: Couples who love a ritual.
Why it works: It turns the night before Christmas into its own small event.
12. Take your first holiday photo as a married couple
Prop the phone on a stack of books, set the timer and take the same photo in the same spot every year: in front of the tree, on the porch, in the ugly sweaters. Print the first one and frame it beside your wedding photo.
- Time needed: 15 minutes
- Cost: Nothing
Best for: Every couple.
Why it works: In a decade you'll have a flip book of your marriage.
What if your first Christmas married is bittersweet?
Some couples start married life the same year they lose someone. A parent who was too sick to dance at the wedding, or a grandparent who didn't make it to December, can make this first Christmas as a married couple feel full and empty at once. Leave room for both: an ornament in their honor, a toast at dinner. Our guide to grief during the holidays has gentle ideas for remembering someone together.
For the lighter side, our list of Christmas traditions has more to borrow, and our holiday season guide covers gifts, games and parties.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should you do for your first Christmas married?
Pick a few traditions you can repeat: a dated ornament, a card as a couple, a holiday split plan with both families and one meal in your own home. Small rituals done every year matter more than one big gesture.
Where should newlyweds spend their first Christmas?
There's no rule. Many couples alternate families each year, split Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, or host both families at home. Decide together, then tell both sides at the same time.
What is a good gift for your first Christmas as husband and wife?
Choose something tied to your first year: an engraved ornament, a framed wedding photo, or a group video of your wedding guests sharing memories of the two of you. Personal beats expensive.
What do you write in a first Christmas card as Mr and Mrs?
Keep it short and warm: "Our first Christmas as Mr and Mrs, and we couldn't have done it without you." A line of thanks to the people who came to the wedding is always welcome.
How do you handle in-laws at Christmas the first year?
Talk with your spouse first and agree on a plan before anyone asks. Share it with both families as a team, stay flexible on the small things and protect a few hours for just the two of you.
When should you start planning your first married Christmas?
Begin around Halloween. That gives you time to settle the holiday split, order cards and, if you're making a group video, give guests two to three weeks to record.
👉 Start a love Tribute and let your wedding guests toast your first Christmas married.
