How do you sum up someone’s life? How do you find the words to commemorate someone whose life helped shape yours? What should a eulogy contain?
It’s not always easy to find the right words. It can be even harder to know where to begin. But being here makes you brave, and it makes you strong. In this article, we’ll walk you through how to give a eulogy. Learn how to find the words, when words don’t seem like enough
What Is the Purpose of a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech typically given at a funeral to honor the deceased. People who were close to the deceased typically use this as a time to honor someone’s life. Eulogies are a way to recap a person’s accomplishments and their impact before we say goodbye.
Typically people will write a eulogy, and then recite it at the funeral or at a celebration of life. You don’t need to memorize the eulogy word-for-word — think of what you write as more of an outline than a speech.
How Long Is a Eulogy?
There’s no hard and fast rule for how long a eulogy needs to be. Some people offer a simple prayer, while others may share many stories and memories. A good rule of thumb is to make your eulogy last at least a few minutes, but ideally no more than 10.
What Makes a Good Eulogy
If you don’t know how to give a eulogy, don’t worry. It’s mostly just an exercise in remembering the very best parts of someone. We’ll break down how to give a eulogy, and some tips for what a eulogy should contain.
1. Start by introducing yourself
Remember that not everyone at the funeral may know who you are or your relationship to the deceased. Start the eulogy by introducing yourself, and how you knew the deceased.
2. Give yourself time and space to reflect on your loved one’s life
The very best eulogies are speeches from the heart. Set aside some time to revisit some memories of your loved one. If you’re struggling with how to give a eulogy, try this exercise.
- Think about the funniest memory you have together.
- Revisit a time when they inspired or motivated you.
- Ask yourself what mattered most to them.
Take this time to get quiet, to think and reminisce, and then write whatever flows.
3. Talk about what mattered most to them
One of the greatest ways you can honor someone in death is to remember what they were passionate about. What did they have an endless reservoir of passion and energy for?
4. Recognize their impact
Was your loved one involved in their community? Whose lives did they touch? Which charities did they support? What invaluable lessons did they teach you?
We put a lot into life. It will mean more than you can imagine to them to have someone see their effort, and honor those parts of their life.
5. Add in a fond or funny memory
If you’re just learning how to give a eulogy, it’s important to know that they don’t have to be 100% serious. Use a funny memory to remind friends and family of the laughter your loved one brought into the world.
6. Keep the remarks respectful
It goes without saying, but don’t bring old grudges, mishaps or transgressions into this moment. A eulogy is for honoring someone’s life, not the time bringing up bad blood or mistakes.
Embracing the Living Eulogy
You know how to give a eulogy at a funeral now, but what about a living eulogy?
A living eulogy is a speech designed to honor someone’s life, before they’ve passed on. A eulogy honors those who have passed, but a living eulogy honors them while they’re still alive to hear it.
Eulogies contain some of the most heartfelt words we ever say about someone. They contain our deepest, most sincere words of appreciation and love. Why wait until someone is deceased to say those things?
Embrace the vulnerability of telling someone how they’ve impacted you, it takes courage to go first. You’ll never regret making someone feel loved. If you have the chance to tell someone how much they matter before they pass, take that chance every single time.
How to Deliver a Eulogy Using Video
We can tell you how to give a eulogy, but at the end of the day, you still have to stand up and say the words. That can be difficult after suffering the loss of someone you love.
Video eulogies can be a great way to deliver a eulogy (or, living eulogy) if you’re nervous, or don’t have enough time to give one in front of an audience. Video eulogies allow you to record when you feel most composed, and let you share your emotions in private if that feels more comfortable for you.
You’re able to take as many do-overs as you want, and can even edit your video eulogy if it winds up being a little too long.
Best of all, it will serve as a lasting keepsake for the family of the deceased and everyone who knew them. It is a powerful way to cement their legacy and let it live on.
Make Your Video Eulogy Easier, With Tribute
If you don’t know how to give a eulogy using video, Tribute.co is a great place to start. We created Tribute to make moments like this easier. Our video montage tool makes it easy to invite your community, collect videos from any device and automatically compile them into the final montage for you. No editing skills are required and we even have editors who can do all of the work for you.
Our Tribute videos are very price accessible, starting at $29 and give you the option to hire a video editor for $99.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is challenging beyond words, we want to make it easier for people to find (and share) the words of their heart.
Let your entire community share some words about the impact that the deceased had while they were alive. Make it easier for their legacy and impact to live on forever.